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The most interesting thing about the essay was the resulting shitstorm of controversy which landed Waldman on a much-viewed Oprah episode during which a hostile audience nearly attacked her. Cliche as it may sound: You gotta put yourself first. You must make it a top priority to hang out with other adults — girlfriends, dates, relatives and friends. Another’s girlfriend eventually broke up with him after several years because he rarely made time to spend alone with her, instead expecting constant family time with his son.Ultimately, failure to put their partner first was a sign these guys were not ready for a serious relationship, or at least not with those particular women, and that is totally normal.Again, both men and women can and have fallen victim to online dating scammers, but women tend to be targeted more aggressively.