Still set your limits and stick to them, but in a loving and nonjudgmental way.Also, don't take their outrageous behaviors personally. One of the ways you can maintain a relationship with your loved one is to educate yourself about the disorder so you can understand your loved one's behaviors.This might increase if you do not emotionally respond to them; that is, if you do not hop on their emotional rollercoaster and get upset as well.One way to help control their extreme behavior is to learn your own boundaries.For instance, if your partner threatens suicide, you could say, "Okay, I'm calling the police." Hopefully, this will be enough to have them settle down, and if your significant other does not settle down, at least you will have the help you need to handle the situation.
With BPD, knowledge is power, and if the person doesn't know that he has the disorder, and the people around him don't know it, they don't know why their loved one is acting that way.To protect yourself from this behavior, think about what your loved one often asks for, guilts you into, or abuses you until you provide it.Then be clear about what you will and will not do to protect yourself.You need to earn money so you can buy the things you want." A person with BPD does not have the same understanding about emotions, and he lacks coping mechanisms to manage them efficiently.